Tears Say More
by meetjasper
Summary: As soon as the words leave his mouth a feeling of complete hopelessness washes over my body. My throat tightens and I can't speak. The pain I endure on a daily basis is nothing compared to the feeling that is radiating from my chest.


Okay I know I should update my other stories but I had this idea and well it wouldn't leave me alone. Anyway I'm in the middle of a move so I don't know when I'lll be able to update.

anyway tell me what you think.

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Tears say more than words ever will.

"I choose Tasha, Rose."

As soon as the words leave his mouth a feeling of complete hopelessness washes over my body. My throat tightens and I can't speak. The pain I endure on a daily basis is nothing compared to the feeling that is radiating from my chest.

_**I choose Tasha, Rose.**_

The words replay in my mind taking the breath from me all over again, He's standing there in front of me waiting for a response. He's wants something I can't give him, not when my voice has suddenly failed me. I open my mouth just to try but the words won't come out, nothing will come out. I feel the tear prickling at my eyes; I fight them back and draw in a shaky breath. I refuse to cry, I will not let his last memory of me be of me crying. I close my eyes and fight the urge to frown at the situation.

_**I choose Tasha, Rose.**_

My eyes snap open as the words once again run through my mind and stare into the brown I've come to love so much over the months I've been back. The pain in my chest intensifies and spreads throughout my body. I cringe internally over the emotion he's displaying through his eyes. I love his eyes, I have from the first moment I stared into them and saw all the emotion running through them even though his guardian mask was firmly in place. His eyes have always been the window into his soul for me. They let me know how he really feels.

_**I choose Tasha, Rose.**_

The smile that was pulling on my face is wiped away as soon as the words replay again. It's like those four words were stuck on replay and I can't stop them. I physically turn away from him and fight to keep the food I'd eaten earlier down. The urge to cry is overwhelming and if he hadn't finally taught me my self control I would have broke down crying as soon as he said the words, but he taught me to be stronger than that and I don't want to ever let him down.

_**I choose Tasha, Rose.**_

I hear the gum door open and turn to see the tail end of his duster walking out the door, Once he's gone and I have nothing else to hold me together I hit the ground, my arms wrapping around my stomach trying to hold me together. My breaths come uneven and with difficulty as I try to stop the pain that's consuming me. The tears pour from my eyes and I struggle to catch my breath. My arms tighten as the pain intensifies. I lay in the middle of the gym as I struggle to sit up and wipe the tears from my eyes. I finally stand and walk towards the bathroom.

_**I choose Tasha, Rose.**_

The tears come again and I try to force them back bur I fail and they stream down my cheeks. I walk toward the nearest dummy he had set up and start pounding it, pouring my frustration and hurt into my punches and kicks until the tears cloud my eyesight and I can't continue.

_Rose, he's leaving about to board the plane you need to come sat goodbye. He was your mentor._

Lissa.

She's right I need to say goodbye. Dimitri may choose Tasha but I choose Dimitri. I just want him to be happy and if she's what makes him happy then I'm okay with that. I walk toward the bathroom once again this time I actually make it the entire way. I look into the mirror and wince at my appearance, swollen eyes and tear streaked cheeks. I try to fix my appearance the best I can.

_Hurry Rose._

Damn I wish this thing worked two ways.

I run out the gym, through the trees towards the front gate. I never slow down if anything I speed up the closer I get. Then I see him standing there in his duster staring towards the school.

**I choose Tasha, Rose.**

I stop in my tracks suddenly causing my feet to slide across the wet grass. I fall but jump up and notice all the faces watching me. "Did you run the entire way Rose?" asks Lissa holding back a smile.

"All the way from the gym full speed. Damn that grass is slippery." I say wiping my hands on my jeans."I couldn't let you guys leave without saying goodbye." I walk over to Tasha who pulls me into a hug that I surprisingly return full heartedly. I turn towards him and a tear falls from his eye.

**I choose Tasha, Rose.**

He reaches out and pulls me into his arms; a tear falls from his eyes and lands on my face and for the first time I don't hear him choosing Tasha. His tear says it all. He loves me but he thinks this is what's best for us and mu future as a guardian. I answer his tear with one of my own that says I understand and I wish him the best of luck in his new life and that I love him. Staring into his eyes I see what I hope gets stuck on replay, I love you too.

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Whatcha think? It isn't my best but i hope you don't feel as if you wasted your time reading it.


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